As a therapist, I often invite my clients to explore their internal landscape with curiosity rather than judgment. It might feel like your mind is naturally drawn to the “what’s wrong” in your life, while the positive aspects seem to pass by unnoticed. This is not a flaw—it’s a survival mechanism that served our ancestors well, alerting them to potential dangers. Called the negativity bias. Yet in modern life, this same mechanism can lead to chronic anxiety and a distorted view of our everyday experiences.
Dr. Rick Hanson calls this tendency to notice the negative more than the positive as “We have velcro for the bad, and teflon for the good.”
Recognizing the Patterns with the negativity bias
Understanding the negativity bias begins with awareness. When you catch yourself focusing on what’s going wrong, take a mindful pause. Ask yourself: “What exactly am I noticing?” Often, our minds jump to conclusions or exaggerate problems without giving equal attention to the positive. By bringing awareness to this pattern, you create an opportunity to shift your perspective.
Try this simple exercise: at the end of each day, jot down three things that went well—even if they seem small or insignificant. Over time, this practice helps to rewire your brain, gradually strengthening the neural pathways associated with noticing, taking in, the beneficial. Just as you might strengthen a muscle with repeated use, your brain learns to see the world through a more balanced lens.
Using the mind to rewire the brain
Neuroscience tells us that the brain is remarkably plastic or malleable—a quality known as neuroplasticity. This means that with consistent practice, you can actually change the way your brain processes information. The negativity bias exists in all human brains, but in some this bias gets overdeveloped and people suffer from anxiety and depression among other mental health concerns. In therapy, I help clients establish a more balanced system, where you notice, take in, and install both the negative and the beneficial (positive).
Imagine your brain as a garden. Do you tend to notice the weeds or the flowers more? With the negativity bias, you would notice the weeds for sure. What’s more, our thoughts work like seeds in our minds, leading to either “flowers” or “weeds.” Every thought you have is like a seed. When you repeatedly plant seeds of negativity, they grow into overgrown weeds, crowding out the beautiful flowers of positive experiences. Through mindful attention and deliberate practice, you can begin to pull up those weeds and plant more flowers. To have balance.
Practical Strategies for balancing the negativity bias
- Meditation:
Engaging in meditation can help you observe your thoughts without judgment. When you become aware of a negative thought, gently acknowledge it, and then let it pass, returning your focus to the present moment. This practice can help you build a buffer between stimulus and response, allowing you to choose a more balanced outlook. I recommend silent meditation, not guided, as this is what type of meditation the studies have shown to have the robust outcomes for brain health. Yet, guided meditation may help with overall decrease in stress. Both types are beneficial. For guided and for timers for silent meditation, try downloading the free app “Insight Timer.” - Gratitude Journaling:
As mentioned earlier, writing down things you’re grateful for each day can reorient your brain to notice the good alongside the bad. Start small—a kind gesture from a friend, a moment of peace during your busy day, or even a delicious cup of tea. Over time, these reflections add up and create a more positive mental landscape. - Reframing Techniques:
Cognitive reframing involves taking a negative thought and consciously shifting it to a more balanced or positive one. For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I always mess things up,” try reframing it to, “I’m learning and growing, and each mistake is an opportunity to improve.” This simple yet powerful technique can slowly change the narrative your brain tells itself. - Mindful Self-Compassion:
Often, our inner critic is the loudest when we focus on what’s wrong. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a good friend. Recognize that it’s okay to have negative thoughts but also remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Self-compassion can soften the harshness of negativity bias, making it easier to acknowledge and celebrate the positive parts of your life. You will find a lovely introduction to Dr. Kristin Neff’s practice of self-compassion on my tools page here. - H.E.A.L: this practice teaches you how to notice, name, and install the beneficial experiences. Strengthening those neural pathways mentioned above to balance out the negativity bias. Dr. Rick Hanson popularized this technique. I call it “the gratitude journal on steroids” tool. Let me guide you through this practice here.
The Impact on Daily Life
When your brain is caught in the negativity bias, everyday challenges can feel insurmountable. Simple setbacks can spiral into overwhelming feelings of inadequacy or anxiety. However, by consciously working to rebalance your attention, you not only improve your mental health but also create a more resilient foundation for handling life’s ups and downs.
Changing the way you notice, think, and behave takes time plus effort. Just set the intention to consistently focus on harnessing the power of your attention with self-compassion. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that every step forward is a victory.
In therapy, I often remind my clients that transforming your habit of mind, having teflon for the negative and velcro for the beneficial in this case, is like learning a new language. At first, it feels awkward and unfamiliar. Over time, with practice and patience, you begin to speak it fluently, and it becomes a natural part of who you are. The same holds true for shifting your focus from the negative to a more balanced view.
The Broader Impact
The benefits of rewiring your brain extend beyond your own well-being. When you learn to notice the positive alongside the negative, you begin to influence your relationships, work, and overall quality of life. Your newfound balance can inspire those around you, creating a ripple effect that encourages others to seek a more optimistic outlook.
Imagine sharing your journey with a friend or a loved one who struggles with anxiety or depression. Your example of embracing both the light and dark parts of life can serve as a powerful reminder that balance is possible. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit—the ability to find beauty even in the midst of adversity.
Going Deeper
In this two-part series, “The Negativity Trap,” you will learn both science and practical strategies to illustrate how the negativity bias shapes behavior. From there, you learn to cultivate the skill of using the mind to balance the brain’s bias for focusing on the negative.
Find strategies to help you increase your sense of balance, calm, and competence while teaching children the social and emotional skills needed to prevent challenging behavior in children.
Click here for Part I: The Negativity Trap
Click here for Part 2: Avoiding the Negativity Trap
For more on this important topic, visit my Instagram, Facebook, or You Tube pages. Try Dr. Rick Hanson’s work as well!