It’s true that many people seem to have “…Velcro for the “bad” and Teflon for the “good.” This phrase from Rick Hanson describes the brain phenomenon of the negativity bias, the circuitry that primes humans to notice and cling to the negative more than the positive. The brain, mind and body work in concert to scan for what is bad, what you should move away from; or good, what you should go toward.
While this system for keeping you safe physically and emotionally does indeed serve humanity, too many times its over activation results in being stuck mostly scanning for the negative so you miss or undervalue the positive in your life. If the brain could talk to you, it might say, “The positives won’t cause you harm, so why linger there? You better get back to looking for danger.”
Research shows that most people tend to notice, and hold on to, the negatives longer than the positives they experience. For instance, if your supervisor gives you three examples of things you are doing well and one example of something you need to change, your tendency may be to hold on to, think about, and possibly even be upset about that one thing that needs to change. You focus on the “negative,” not the compliments! Does that sound familiar?
So, are you doomed to “be” negative?
The good news is no, you are not. You can change the circuitry of the brain and the habit of the mind that keeps you focused on the bad while minimizing the good. The potentially bad news is new habits take effort, but learning a few mindfulness practices makes this effort less challenging.
A note of caution here: please do not think that you need to put all your energy into noticing only the positive to compensate for the brain’s bias. The approach to balancing our brains tendency for the negativity bias is not to race past the negative and just focus on the positive. A mental shift from taking in too much of the negative to avoiding the negativity at all cost is like trading seats on the titanic: you may have made a change, but you are still on a sinking ship.
The goal instead is to experience the good and the bad with an open, receptive state of mind supported by non-judgement, loving kindness, and compassion for self and others. This is mindfulness.
How do we do that? We use our minds to change our brains to change our minds for the better. Don’t worry, it’s not quite as complicated as it sounds.
To start, Rick Hanson encourages you to think of yourself as a gardener. There are three ways to cultivate the garden of your brain using mindfulness practices:
- You can witness your garden, surveying it in its entirety, just noticing what is there (both positive and negative).
- You can pull weeds (release the negative).
- You can plant flowers (install the positive).
Notice that Hanson’s garden metaphor gives us choices for using the mind to create a balance in the brain. The goal is not necessarily to immediately release (get rid of) the negative, nor is to only install (enrich) the positive. Mindfulness helps you cultivate the ability to notice all that occurs as it arises, both the weeds and the flowers, and to tune in to whether it serves you to release the negative, install more of the positive, or just be with what is. With mindfulness, you strengthen the reflective circuitry in your brain creating an open, receptive state of mind that includes a stance of non-judgement, loving kindness, and compassion for self and others. Instead of being trapped in negativity, you will strengthen your brain’s ability to pause and consider:
- What do you notice?
- What might you want to release?
- What might you want to install?
Please read Part 2 of this series for more about how to cultivate the garden of the brain using the mind, including examples from my work helping teachers trapped in the negativity bias.
Awesome. Thank you.