Category: Mindfulness

The Negativity Trap: part 2

In Part 1 of “The Negativity Trap,” you learned the brain’s reasons for focusing on the negative as well as some mind methods for balancing out that bias. I shared Rick Hanson’s beautiful metaphor of cultivating the garden of the brain using the mind to witness the garden, pull the weeds, or plant flowers as an approach to creating such balance.

Now let’s take a closer look at the three ways to cultivate the garden of your brain using your mind:

1) Witness the garden: being with what is there means tuning in to whatever is present: the good, the bad and even what may seem neutral. As you survey your garden of experiences, allow your attention to land on both the flowers and the weeds while remaining open and receptive to seeing what is there without trying to change it at first.  Next, shift your gaze inward toward intrapersonal attunement: what am I thinking, feeling, sensing, remembering, or perceiving in relationship to what I am noticing in my surroundings?

Tara Brach calls this practice taking a “U-turn” back toward self. Shifting your awareness from what is happening “out there” toward your internal state of mind and body. This aspect of mindfulness helps you develop a relationship between what is happening externally with that internally, a practice which activates the process of integration for your mind, brain and even your relationships.

Ultimately, an integrated brain supports your ability to respond versus react, creating a space between stimulus and response for a more balanced way of being in the world. With the negativity bias, the brain is primed to react when left unsupervised by the mind.

Consider the following example of a preschool teacher I coached through avoiding the negativity trap by using her mind to cultivate the garden of her brain. After observing her classroom that morning, we met as she described, in an understandably very agitated manner, the behavior of a four-year-old she deemed “out of control”: the child had been turning over tables, cursing, hitting children and staff, running out of the room and failing to follow the classroom’s rules in general. As her coach, I spent a good amount of time actively listening to her narrative, asking her questions to help her tell the story of this child, and validating her perspective. Everything the teacher told me about what was happening with the child, was negative. Since I was there, I could verify it all really happened.

After helping her tell the story of this child’s behavior, I asked her to practice intrapersonal attunement regarding this narrative. I guided her to make the “U-turn” to go inward: exploring her thoughts about the situation, her feelings, the sensations she may have in her body as she recalled the child’s behaviors, what images/memories she might recall related to what she was experiencing and any beliefs that might be arising.  In this way, I gently encouraged her to shift her focus from “out there” i.e., on the child, to “in here,” i.e., her state of mind and body. I wanted her to witness and experience her relationship to this child’s behavior: what did his behavior ignite inside her? When I meet with teachers to reflect and plan about children with challenging behavior, we start with observation. Such observation, however, includes exploration of the adult’s mental activity and body awareness, not just the behavior of the child.

What came to light from this reflective process was how her values, perceptions and beliefs about challenging behavior in general, and this child specifically, were linked to experiences and memories from her upbringing as well as her training as a teacher. While she felt she had to scan her classroom for dangerous or negative behavior, she realized that mostly seeing the “weeds” activated her fight, flight or freeze response. She was anxious almost all day around this child. The teacher felt her colleagues, supervisor and the families would see her as incompetent if she couldn’t control this child, and she believed she didn’t have the skill to handle the behaviors this child displayed.

Her beliefs about challenging behavior as well as her reactive stress response to such behavior led to her current feelings of anxiousness, helplessness, overwhelm, worthlessness and even anger which manifested in sensations of pain in her back and tightness in her shoulders. She had been on “autopilot” for so long, that she had never stopped to notice the details of her experience, she just knew she felt “crummy” at the end of every day. I validated her perspective and her emotions, encouraging her to offer loving kindness and compassion toward herself instead of judging herself for being triggered.

This teacher had never stopped to consider the connection between what was happening “out there” in the classroom with what was “in here” (mental activity) because she was always in a rush to fix it, to stop the behavior.  This is true for most teachers given the demands of their daily work and lack of time they are given to engage in reflection. By pausing to “be with what is here,” the teacher acknowledged some of the feelings that kept her trapped in the negative and experienced a slight shift of relief by naming them with an attuned other present. From there, we could move forward with other aspects of cultivating the garden of her brain to help her balance out the negativity bias.

2) Pull the weeds: letting go of what isn’t serving you, the “bad,” starts by noticing both the external and the internal challenges with the intention of retrieving, reflecting and then releasing…not getting stuck there.  Instead of being highjacked by the negative, or feeling like you are “in the weeds,” you tune into what is there with presence and purpose giving it the loving kindness, compassion and non-judgement that creates the balance you need to allow you to release the negative— to pull the weeds at the root, hopefully! Pulling the weeds with intention not from a state of reactivity.

As the teacher above continued her narrative of the child with the challenging behavior, I helped her identify what she might change in herself first before she asked for changes in the child. What outdated software, or beliefs, might she be running about challenging behavior in general and specifically about the expectations for this child that she could let go of, or update, to help her feel more balanced, less overwhelmed? Like a computer, our minds need updates in order to for our brains to run efficiently!

In this case, the teacher was overly linked to the child: she was reacting to the scary behavior versus responding to it due to the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories this behavior triggered in her. Because she did not differentiate herself from the behavior or the child, she was in the weeds, highjacked by the pressure she felt to “fix” it. Understandable, yes, but efficient or satisfying, no!

The teacher spent time acknowledging her feelings of worthlessness, overwhelm, helplessness and anger that arose as she told the story and realized that these feelings directly tied to an internal narrative  she developed over the course of her life: to be successful and competent she couldn’t fail, she had to always fix the problem, her feelings didn’t matter, and as a teacher she had to manage the classroom by controlling the children or others would judge her and she would be a failure. All these beliefs contributed to her current feeling state and ultimately, she was angry about it all.

Clearly, there were a lot of “weeds” to be pulled from the internal narratives that were draining her battery. How could anyone expect to live up to these standards? And yet, many of you likely have a similar set of values, perceptions and beliefs about yourself and the world. We began to talk about how she could update her software about challenging behavior and her role as the teacher to begin the process of letting go of what wasn’t serving her.

3) Grow the flowers: the teacher’s negativity bias had her seeing only “weeds” when she surveyed the garden of her classroom, but with mindfulness she was able to tune into her mental activity and realize the connection between the child’s behaviors and her brain’s reactivity regarding those behaviors. Clearly, the child’s behavior was dangerous both physically and emotionally for himself, other children, and the staff; and yet, my goal was to help the teacher learn how to cultivate a responsive, reflective state of mind to help this child versus being caught in the trap of negativity and reactivity.

Once we helped her identify, understand, and express her emotions as well as update some of her beliefs, I asked her to consider the child’s strengths: what were some positive things she could say about him and/or her relationship with him? The process of tuning in, reflecting, and mindfully exploring what was “there” with non -judgement, loving-kindness and compassion for herself allowed her to move to this step of extending those same feelings toward the child and recalling several strengths. Next, she extended the same consideration for herself and her co-workers: what strengths did they bring to bear in this situation? At that point, she was in a more integrated state of mind and brain, able to explore the functional assessment process to create a behavior support plan for the child and her.

The human brain is wired to scan for what is missing or what is wrong to keep you safe…thank goodness! And yet, this circuitry may work overtime when left without the supervision of the mind, activating the reactive circuitry in your brain that leaves you feeling drained, regretful, stuck or burned out. Harnessing the mind’s power to direct your attention, consider starting a practice of noticing the positive. Allow yourself to linger there. Absorb the positive. Don’t rush past it. By activating this practice of taking in the good, you begin to create a balanced brain with circuitry that moves toward openness and receptivity; in short, to respond versus react from an integrated brain. With repeated activation, you will install this trait of responsiveness which primes you to grow a garden filled with flowers and to pull the weeds when needed with the presence and purposefulness versus habit and harriedness.

If you would like to receive training or coaching on this topic, or just to learn more about the mind, brain and behaviors, please visit me at consulting.laurafishtherapy.com.

Seeing the Child Behind the Behavior

When children have challenging behavior, it is easy to get stuck trying to “stop” the behavior. Unfortunately, they often ends up with a lot of pain and suffering for either the adult, the child, or both.

When we begin to understand how basic needs and function of behavior drive the brain to react or respond, our approach toward children with challenging behavior becomes more inclusive, attuned and effective!

With some brain basics, you can be on your way to a more safe, satisfying and connected relationship with the child or children in your life.

Find out more with Laura in Pre-K Teach and Play’s Podcast 27: Seeing the Child Behind the Behavior

To start working smarter, not harder, with children make sure you read more about the brain reasons for behavior in this article from Laura: Seeing the Child Behind the Behavior.

Bridging Communication Challenges

Conscious Communication

Emotional well-being flows from the ability to clearly communicate what you need. This isn’t an inborn gift, but a learnable skill.

Where to start? With oneself: learning to become conscious, or aware, of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, then connecting those to a need and expressing that need.

Such introspection, however, may activate a sense of vulnerability. When people feel vulnerable, they commonly compensate by becoming demanding and threatening, believing that forcefulness will increase the likelihood of getting what they want. This approach often has the opposite effect. A demand implies that the recipient is of lesser value than the giver and, therefore, that the giver has the right to dictate to others. Even if you give in to my demands, you will likely do so with resistance and resentment. Sooner or later, you will no longer be willing to acquiesce and will stop meeting my needs.

In contrast, conscious communication invites an openness and receptivity to see what “is” without judgment, shame or blame, inviting both people to collaborate to understand and repair the issue. This principle applies to all relationships, including those with your business partners, co-workers, friends, children, and parents.

Practicing Conscious Communication

I’ve slightly modified Marshall Rosenberg’s four-step process, plus added two steps that will help you start on the path to becoming a master of conscious communication.

  1. Identify the event that triggered your emotional upset.Consider what happened, being as objective as possible. Just describe the facts as if you were an outside observer. For example, saying, “My husband is never on time,” is less useful than saying, “My husband agreed to meet at the movie theater at 7 p.m. and didn’t show up until 7:30.”
  2. Take responsibility for your feelings.When describing your feelings, choose words that express the sensations you’re experiencing, such as “I feel sad, lonely, frustrated, or jealous.” Avoid words that reinforce a sense of victimization: “I feel neglected, betrayed, or rejected.” If you feel those feelings, fine, just reflect further to see what others might be there. When you take responsibility for your emotions, you are informing rather than blaming the people in your life.
  3. Identify what you need that you are not receiving.As infants, many of us had caregivers trying to figure out what we needed because we could not identify our needs and communicate them ourselves. Others had caregivers who did not try to meet our needs or were unsafe physically and/or emotionally. As adults, we may subconsciously expect loved ones to know what we need and spontaneously provide it, or we may subconsciously believe the other person can never meet our needs. You are much more likely to get your needs met if you can identify them and communicate them clearly: “It would help me if I know of changes that will impact what time you meet me,” or “To feel secure/safe/connected, it helps me to be certain of the time of your arrival.”
  4. Ask for what you want.What specific behaviors or actions would fulfill your needs? For example, if you want more engagement from your partner, do not just ask him or her to spend more time with you; ask to take a walk after dinner, or go to a movie on Saturday night. Express your need in the form of a request rather than a demand: “How can we create a system that works for both of us regarding tracking time?” Everyone has an inherent impulse to resist demands, whereas our sense of satisfaction and connection goes up when we’re able to fulfill requests.
  5. Consider the four gates of speech before you speak: Is this True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary? Is Now the Right Time to Say it? Part of being conscious in your communication is pausing to be present with what you are thinking, sensing, and feeling before you share with your partner. Never dismissing or denying your experience; but rather, looking inward to consider if what you want to speak to the other person is the truth versus some fear, mistaken belief, or narrative from childhood. Communicating the truth with kindness doesn’t mean you never say anything difficult; instead, it means considering whether this truth may benefit the other person as well as yourself. Considering if it is necessary to say it will help with the kindness aspect: must this truth be spoken now? The necessity is inextricably linked to the importance you place on the topic coupled with your belief that communication around the topic will benefit the relationship in the end. Finally, consider the timing: while what you have to say may be true, kind and necessary, is now the time to say it? This doesn’t mean avoiding important discussions, it means being aware, or conscious, of your partner’s ability to engage openly and receptively at that moment.
  6. Add in what I call the 5th gate of speech: In my experience, conscious communication may break down when the speaker isn’t ready to hear the listener’s response. He or she has the desire to be heard, which is absolutely imperative, but equally important is the willingness to hear one’s partner’s response. Before initiating communication, consider asking yourself: “Am I ready to hear the response?” Being ready to listen and be changed by what you hear are two healthy components to communicating. If we only focus on our perspective, on what we think, feel, sense and believe, then we are not consciously communicating, we are telling.

Although using this process doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get your needs met, it will substantially increase the likelihood that you’ll spend more time feeling comfortable and at ease with communication, and less time in emotional distress.

This article was adapted in 2018 by Laura Fish, LMFT. The skills of conscious communication and emotional awareness are vital components of the Chopra Center’s Perfect Health: Ayurvedic Lifestyle Certification Program.

 

 

The Negativity Trap: part 1

It’s true that many people seem to have “…Velcro for the “bad” and Teflon for the “good.” This phrase from Rick Hanson describes the brain phenomenon of the negativity bias, the circuitry that primes humans to notice and cling to the negative more than the positive. The brain, mind and body work in concert to scan for what is bad, what you should move away from; or good, what you should go toward.

While this system for keeping you safe physically and emotionally does indeed serve humanity, too many times its over activation results in being stuck mostly scanning for the negative so you miss or undervalue the positive in your life. If the brain could talk to you, it might say, “The positives won’t cause you harm, so why linger there? You better get back to looking for danger.”

Research shows that most people tend to notice, and hold on to, the negatives longer than the positives they experience. For instance, if your supervisor gives you three examples of things you are doing well and one example of something you need to change, your tendency may be to hold on to, think about, and possibly even be upset about that one thing that needs to change. You focus on the “negative,” not the compliments! Does that sound familiar?

So, are you doomed to “be” negative?

The good news is no, you are not. You can change the circuitry of the brain and the habit of the mind that keeps you focused on the bad while minimizing the good.  The potentially bad news is new habits take effort, but learning a few mindfulness practices makes this effort less challenging.

A note of caution here: please do not think that you need to put all your energy into noticing only the positive to compensate for the brain’s bias. The approach to balancing our brains tendency for the negativity bias is not to race past the negative and just focus on the positive. A mental shift from taking in too much of the negative to avoiding the negativity at all cost is like trading seats on the titanic: you may have made a change, but you are still on a sinking ship.

The goal instead is to experience the good and the bad with an open, receptive state of mind supported by non-judgement, loving kindness, and compassion for self and others. This is mindfulness.

How do we do that? We use our minds to change our brains to change our minds for the better. Don’t worry, it’s not quite as complicated as it sounds.

To start, Rick Hanson encourages you to think of yourself as a gardener. There are three ways to cultivate the garden of your brain using mindfulness practices:

  • You can witness your garden, surveying it in its entirety, just noticing what is there (both positive and negative).
  • You can pull weeds (release the negative).
  • You can plant flowers (install the positive).

Notice that Hanson’s garden metaphor gives us choices for using the mind to create a balance in the brain. The goal is not necessarily to immediately release (get rid of) the negative, nor is to only install (enrich) the positive. Mindfulness helps you cultivate the ability to notice all that occurs as it arises, both the weeds and the flowers, and to tune in to whether it serves you to release the negative, install more of the positive, or just be with what is. With mindfulness, you strengthen the reflective circuitry in your brain creating an open, receptive state of mind that includes a stance of non-judgement, loving kindness, and compassion for self and others. Instead of being trapped in negativity, you will strengthen your brain’s ability to pause and consider:

  • What do you notice?
  • What might you want to release?
  • What might you want to install?

Please read Part 2 of this series for more about how to cultivate the garden of the brain using the mind, including examples from my work helping teachers trapped in the negativity bias.

Mindfulness in the Classroom

Mindfulness strategies are a part of any quality early childhood education program; they just are not traditionally labeled as such. For example, teachers are employing mindfulness strategies when they describe children’s actions aloud, ask open-ended questions, and acknowledge children’s efforts to engage in their community in positive ways.

When implemented with fidelity, common quality teaching practices such as these encourage mindfulness as a habit of mind that develops and strengthens the brain’s social, emotional, and cognitive skills.

Mindfulness strategies support brain development in several ways:

  1. Promotes integration – differentiation and linkage: development of all parts of the brain as well as building the connections among areas within the brain. When our brains are differentiated, and linked, they are believed to be integrated, a state which supports physical and mental well-being.
  2. Supports executive function skills: the ability to plan, initiate, organize and carry out tasks while regulating emotions, resolving conflicts and shifting gears when necessary. Focal attention is the key driver to learning and is integral to developing these “school readiness” skills.
  3. Allows for intrapersonal attunement: tuning into one’s own interior landscape, including thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Noticing “what’s inside.”
  4. Allows for interpersonal attunement: being able to tune into the mental and physical state of another. Noticing “what’s there.”
  5. Supports the development of the prefrontal cortex: most notably, attuned communication, fear modulation, physical regulation, emotional regulation, response flexibility, insight, empathy, intuition, morality.

But What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness may be understood as having two components: the quality of focal attention, and the state of mind of openness and receptivity to what is there. Perhaps more specifically, a way I like to define mindfulness is paying attention on purpose with non-judgment, compassion, and loving-kindness.

Focal attention is a key component of mindfulness as it promotes learning or affecting change of any kind. When focal attention is engaged, the brain generates the growth of new cells, or neurons, and the connections between those neurons are strengthened. Focal attention is believed to be foundational for the development of the five brain benefits listed above.

Openness and receptivity are also key components of mindfulness. When the mind is in an open, receptive state, the brain is more integrated, thus promoting health, well-being and the spaciousness that cultivates the strengthening of the mind and brain.

Both components of mindfulness are unpacked here, beginning with focal attention strategies, which can be incorporated across daily activities and common preschool routines.

With the help of focal attention, each of these strategies has the potential to lead to one or more of the five brain benefits listed previously. And while the quality of attention is an important component of mindfulness, so too is the state of mind with which you attend.

The practice of engaging focal attention is coupled with the intention to notice with an open, receptive state of mind that includes non-judgment, compassion, and loving-kindness. And again, such practices are easily woven into the fabric of a quality early childhood program.

Open, Receptive State of Mind StrategyExampleBrain Benefit
Positive, descriptive acknowledgment (PDA) and PDA Plus: using specific and descriptive language to describe the positive behavior children display and at times, connecting it to a feeling state, outcome, or character trait.Teacher: Andre and Denae, you are sharing the crayons!

Or

Teacher: Andre and Denae, you are sharing the crayons, you look happy to be sharing!

Or

Teacher: Andre and Denae, you are sharing the crayons, now you can both color!

Or

Teacher: Andre and Denae, you are sharing the crayons, you are being friendly with each other.

With PDA and PDA Plus (instead of praise), children receive a description of the positive action they are doing and possibly its impact or outcome. This acknowledgment begins to strengthen the children’s internal narrative to include their strengths. A narrative that includes strengths, may help children remain open and receptive when they face challenges instead of dropping into judgment and criticism.

When teachers flood the environment with PDA and PDA Plus, children are more likely to return to an open, receptive state of mind throughout the day.

Emotional Literacy: identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions.

 

Choose from a variety of strategies such as reading books about feelings, referencing feeling charts, asking children how they feel, scaffolding their feelings, and modeling feelings.

Teacher: Salina, you are jumping as you laugh with your friend! How do you feel?

Or

Teacher: Looks like you might be angry right now. I see your hands are clenched and your breathing is heavy.

Or

Teacher: Looks like you might be having a strong emotion, do you want to….draw me your feelings so I know what you are feeling; switch your emotion on the feelings chart; have the puppets talk about your feelings with you; tell me what your body feels like right now; do a body scan with me so we can see what your body is telling you about your feelings?

Using the emotional literacy strategy sends the message that all emotions are acceptable. This helps the mind send signals to the brain that it is safe and the process of regulating a strong emotion may begin.

The brain strives to make sense of information, so regardless of the strength of the emotion the strategy of emotional literacy helps the brain call upon the left hemisphere to help name what the right hemisphere is experiencing. The two parts of the brain work together to integrate the emotion, what’s often referred to as, “Name it to tame it”, where emotional literacy and emotional regulation are working together.

Emotional Regulation: using the mind to bring the brain into a more balanced state.

As with emotional literacy, a variety of emotional regulation strategies may be offered for children based on individual need, feeling state, and children’s abilities or developmental levels. For example, opportunities to: smell a flower/blow out the candle, squeeze a stress ball, do a few wall push-ups, walk like a bear or other animal, receive deep or light pressure on various body parts, name it to tame it, count breaths, allow glitter to settle, draw, listen to music, hug a stuffed animal or a teacher.

Regardless of strategy, a key component of emotional regulation is the teacher’s validation of the child’s feeling state both through verbal and nonverbal actions.

Teacher: So, you are feeling really angry because the block area is full right now. That makes sense. I can see why you feel angry about that.

Or

Teacher: You are feeling angry about the block area being full. It’s so hard to wait. It seems like anger is making your body feel uncomfortable right now.  I wonder what might help anger relax its grip on you a little?

Or

Teacher: You are feeling angry because the block area is full? Ahhh…and your stomach feels heavy? So sorry. I have the relaxation kit right here. What strategy might help your tummy soften a bit?

Emotional regulation for children includes co-regulation with an attuned other. Meaning, engaging in regulation with an unhurried, calm, receptive, and aware adult.

Co-regulating with an attuned other allows children’s brains to shift from an emotionally reactive “downstairs brain” to an open, receptive “upstairs brain”, and to shift the brain to a state of integration. choose.

Conflict resolution: solving problems and resolving conflicts in a systematic way that includes all children being involved in a non-punitive discussion and resolution process.When possible, each child involved in the conflict contributes his or her perspective at each step with the assistance of the teacher.

· Step one: What happened? How does EACH child feel?

·  Step two: What can we do? (discuss potential solutions, possibly look through visuals of solutions)

·  Step three: Pick one and give it a try!

·  Step four: Teacher follows up children.

Resolving conflicts using a step-by-step framework helps children remain open and receptive to working with others to resolve challenges, rather than seeking out retribution.

When children describe their view of what happened, connect that to how they feel, and then seek a solution, they are using the mind to access all parts of the brain to collaborate with others.

Inherent in this process is non-judgment, compassion for self and others, and loving-kindness.

Now that you understand both components of mindfulness, focal attention and an open, receptive state of mind, can you see how they may be (and likely are) incorporated across daily activities and common preschool routines?

A few last reminders:

  • It’s important to note that the foundation of practicing mindfulness strategies is the teacher’s commitment to attuned communication and relationships with children. Click here to learn more about attuned communication. Attuned communication maximizes the potential for healthy brain and mind development by creating environments where children feel safe, satisfied, and seen (i.e., connected).
  • All of the mindfulness strategies offered here must be adapted to meet the needs, abilities, and/or developmental levels of the children. The key is for teachers to use discernment to develop a culturally and developmentally appropriate approach for all children to cultivate the components of mindfulness at their own pace.

Hear more about this important topic with Laura on Pre-K Teach and Play’s podcast: Mindfulness in the Classroom

For additional strategies to promote mindfulness in your classroom, please check out part two of this series, “Moving Beyond Traditional Mindfulness Practices in the Early Childhood Classroom.”

Teaching with the Brain in Mind

What do circle time, science, mindfulness, and self-reflection have in common?

Find out in Pre-K Teach and Play’s Podcast 21: Teaching with the Brain in Mind with Laura Fish

Six main concepts are explored in this episode:

  1. How to get teachers/colleagues to buy in to a change in practice (“mindset before method”)
  2. Why focal attention, novelty, repetition, and emotional arousal are the necessary ingredients for optimal learning
  3. How to teach from a brain perspective so we strengthen the part of the brain the child will need to use “next”
  4. Why interpersonal neurobiology helps us to make the connection among brain, mind, and relationships
  5. How to use mindfulness in Preschool contexts
  6. Why school readiness does not mean replicating Kindergarten in Preschool so children are “ready” for school

For the free download about tips for self-reflection, please subscribe to my blog below to the right. Request your download, and I’ll be happy to send it to you!

Circle Time in the 21st Century

I’ve been coaching an amazing preschool teacher named Ana since September, teaching her breathing techniques to practice with the children as part of the myriad strategies we are implementing to prime their brains for learning.  

Two days ago she told me the kids wanted to learn more techniques, so I taught her a yoga breathing practice called “alternate nostril breathing” that balances the left and right hemispheres of the brain. I showed her a way to adapt it with the kids because the hand movements require fine motor dexterity beyond most preschoolers abilities.

When I came to observe her classroom just two days later I captured this video of her leading 19 children through the breathing practices.  Check out this maverick teacher and the children’s spontaneous sharing at the end about the impact of the breathing exercises #bestuseofCircleTimeever

Turn on Closed captions for better audio!!

To learn more about circle time in the 21st Century listen to Laura discuss Teaching with the Brain in Mind in this podcast!

Feeling Fragmented?

When I look at Picasso’s “Weeping Woman,” the abstract nature of the Cubist style reminds me how many of my clients feel: fragmented, disconnected, jumbled, emotionally vulnerable.

The barrage of information and images from social media and television coupled with the demands of being constantly “plugged in,” leave many people feeling overwhelmed, worn out, irritable, anxious, even depressed. Stillness and quiet seem to be a commodity even for those who do not have children, because of the pull to constantly check social media, respond to emails, tweets, likes on facebook, etc.

How can you find balance amidst the torrent of demands from your daily life? You can use your mind to change your brain, cultivating a habit of mind called “SIFT” by Daniel Siegel that has the potential to buffer you from stress.

To “SIFT” through your mind, invite yourself to pause and notice:

“What are my Sensations, Images, Feelings and Thoughts in this moment?”

Gently cast your gaze inward and see what is there. The goal is not to judge, change, or do anything with what you find. Just be open and receptive, curious. It’s the practice of looking inward that matters.

When you SIFT through your mind and your body in this way, you are calling upon the left and right hemispheres of the brain to work in concert, to cultivate both differentiation (doing what each part does best) and linkage (working together) to promote integration, a hallmark of mental health and well-being. Over time, this will help with the stress you feel from living a high paced life.

With daily practice, the “Weeping Woman” in Picasso’s masterpiece may emerge looking less fragmented to herself and others, with a clearer sense of self, an ability to observe and experience the demands of life from a bit of a distance to protect herself from stress, and a sense of well-being that comes from integration.

Email me to learn more about this and other mindfulness practices to promote Healing for Lasting Change.

The Power of Attention to Create Choice and Change

“Where attention goes, neural firing flows, and integration grows.” Daniel Siegel’s pithy phrase helps us remember that what we learn, what we master, starts with what we attend to…or what we don’t! You can’t control thoughts, but you can change your relationship with the thoughts.

Start by pausing now, closing your eyes, and just noticing what is your mind doing right now? Observe, do thoughts come and go rapidly, are they connected, is there a space between them?

Tuning in is the first step on the path toward using the power of attention to create choice and change, taking yourself off autopilot mode by simply asking yourself, “What’s there?” when it comes to your thoughts, feelings, sensations. For a nice introduction to this topic, watch Rick Hanson describe attention and some of the benefits you might receive by using your mind to change your brain.

Email me for more information or for group trainings I offer for teachers and parents regarding observation, mindfulness, and rewiring the brain.

 

Attuned Interactions and Contingent Communication

If you would like to learn about an approach for connecting with children to prevent challenging behavior and promote healthy development, please listen to me discuss Attunement and Contingent Communication on the Early Childhood Research Podcast, Episode 19:

Attunement is believed to be one of the 9 functions of the pre-frontal cortex, a highly integrative area of the brain necessary for healthy social and emotional development as well as cognitive functioning. Find out more about this important topic by listening to the podcast.

Thank you so much to Liz Hah for asking me to join her on the program. Please visit her website for more wonderful podcasts as well as free downloads to support young children’s healthy development: http://www.lizs-early-learning-spot.com/

You can also find a written transcript of this podcast there along with some cool graphics Liz designed.

Please let me know what you think of the episode as well as any questions you might have about how I might help you learn the strategies discussed in the interview.

Check back soon for more blog posts regarding ways to promote social and emotional development in children!